Exploring the true nature of Survivors of childhood clergy abuse
Imagine you are faced with the care of a being from an entirely different species, an alien that has never been seen before, and therefore is extremely precious.
Imagine that you are charged with the task of making it thrive and blossom in optimum health and well-being.
The answer would not be to throw just anything at it to see if it works! And then try something else when that fails, and then something else, on and on; although this random tendency is what we come across often when people are trying to find the best way to help survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Like throwing mud at a wall to see how much of it will stick.
I believe, however, that the correct thing to do would be to look very closely at the nature of that creature. To fully understand, and determine, what it actually needs.
I would examine it’s genetic makeup – is it vegetarian? Is it nocturnal? Is it happier in a group, or does it need solitude? Will it die if exposed to water? Will it bite? Is it timid? Does it need warmth or cold? What kind of habitat does it prefer?
What exactly does it require in order to survive and thrive?
As people who want to help, there is a tendency to “throw” what we consider “the best thing” at something, albeit out of kindness.
Maybe we will sit it in the sunshine, and give it the best fillet steak! Surely that will be the best thing it could have?
Great, unless the creature happens to be a cold blooded, nocturnal vegetarian that is allergic to UV rays!
You might feel better, but the creature will suffer!
Not much use to feel benevolent while doing the wrong thing. There are many tragedies brought about by people doing the wrong thing, for what they perceive to be the right reasons. It is very easy to kill someone with kindness.
When faced with recovery from childhood clergy sexual abuse we need to first of all look at the very nature of that Survivor; for example, you may know what a lion looks like, but do you REALLY know it’s true nature? It is no use assuming that what you may feel is the “best” for that person until you have a clear picture of the nature of abuse.
In our two-day workshops we examine the true nature of the survivor, how they have been damaged and more importantly, what interventions can really help.
Why timing is crucial, why some interventions are inappropriate unless they are timed correctly, and why some are great!
We will look specifically at the Survivors brain, the target organ of trauma; how it is affected and what we can do about it.
We will examine the research that highlights the damage to the immune and metabolic systems of the abuse survivor, and how it can be possible to achieve optimum health.
We will share simple and inexpensive tips and tools to empower the Survivor, even when they are alone.
Survivors are not clones; they are unique and irreplaceable individuals, and the way each one is dealing with their own trauma is determined by many factors, and should be their own choice.
What we have done is to create a programme for optimum strength, regardless of the direction a person’s recovery is taking.
They need, and deserve, their best shot at happiness, to be as well as possible to begin and sustain their fight.
Like a prize-fighter needs a special regime in order to be at his peak! He will need the right diet, the right exercise the right mindset for more power, more speed, more endurance.
If survivors are overwhelmed, they are liable to lose their determination. Fear will often drive a fighter to make painful mistakes. It has been common to see Survivors severely weakened and consequently re-abused, either because they are too hurt, ill informed, dismissed, badly advised, or are not able to look after themselves as well as they might.
Survivors of clergy abuse should consider themselves as a very precious member of an endangered species, and value their recovery above all else.
It is pretty near impossible to win a fight as big as this one if you show up for it at less than your very best.
The worst part of fighting is not the fight itself, it’s not even the arduous preparation – it is the getting destroyed when you have fought so hard to win!
Our two-day workshop is designed to empower that Survivor – Prize-fighter!
For therapeutic professionals, who need to see how best to help this client group.
For lawyers who need to understand the severity of the task and to be better able to incorporate the biology of trauma into their clients’ cases.
For families and friends who are desperately trying to make sense of the situation.
For heroic Survivors themselves, who need to be equipped with as much armour and weaponry as they can muster.
Armed with a more thorough and scientific understanding of the severity of abuse, and the true nature of the abused person, therapists, lawyers, families and survivors alike, will be better able to care for that precious member of “ an endangered species” and allow them regain their power, to soar above their abusers!